• The Jesus States of America

    Obama won the election and as I predicted, it wasn’t even close. If Bush had a “mandate” in 2004, then Obama has a down right decree from the people. But the Religious Right are once again acting like sore losers and threatening to secede from the Union and form their own country. I’m going to call it the Jesus States of America.

    Last time they tried this, the world was a very different place. The Northern states needed the cotton and tobacco and other crops that the South had to offer. But we don’t any more. In fact, there is absolutely nothing most of these states have to offer us.

    Okay, Texas has some oil, but so what progressives in the North want to move to wind and solar anyway. Besides, I think they are bluffing. Could you imagine what would happen the next time a hurricane hit Louisiana if they didn’t have the federal government to back them up? Most of the states who want to secede operate at a loss anyway. In other words, they take more money from the federal government than they deliver in taxes and other revenue.

    I think we should let them secede and kick off some dead weight. We would have a much better government without the wacko Religious Right. Our military will still be there and it would still be bigger than the military of the Jesus States of America. We would still have the bombs. We would have a better economy, better energy policy, better social justice, better education, and better innovation.

    We keep Hollywood and New York, so our movies wouldn’t change either. We could even change them higher rates to import our entertainment. If they don’t pay it, then they are stuck with just country music and Jon Voight movies.

    I don’t think we should fight a civil war just to keep a bunch of cry baby, sore loser, turncoat, traitors in the Union. Fuck them! They want to leave, don’t let the border fence hit you on the way out. As it turns out, I just changed my opinion on the border fence issue just to keep these free loader rednecks out of my country. Let them teach Creationism in their own country, but here in the United States of America that shit stays out of our schools. What a relief it would be to get rid of all these ridiculous Religious Right wackos. I can’t wait. Even though I live in a Northern state, can I sign their petitions to get them to secede?

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    Category: Politics


    Article by: Staks Rosch

    Staks Rosch is a writer for the Skeptic Ink Network & Huffington Post, and is also a freelance writer for Publishers Weekly. Currently he serves as the head of the Philadelphia Coalition of Reason and is a stay-at-home dad.