It seems that the Catholic Church has resurrected something other than Jesus in a cracker. They are bringing back indulgences. That’s when the Church reduces your time in imaginary Purgatory a little bit in exchange for your bribe… or in this case, following the Pope on Twitter during some religious youth conference.
I’m following the Pope on Twitter because I like to keep track of all the wackos. So now I’m excited to go skip out of Purgatory… oh shit, there is fine print. First, I have to have faith. Darn it, I don’t have any faith unless you count all the time religious believers tell me that I have faith in science or in reality or whatever. So I guess I have to spend some of my life death in Purgatory after all. Not to worry though, because Purgatory doesn’t exist!
The Vatican can make up whatever rules they want for people to get into their imaginary afterlife or skip out of some other part of their imaginary afterlife but at some point, it has to become obvious that they are just making this shit up. I mean really? God is suddenly Bill Maher and his new rule is that you get to spend a few less days in Purgatory if you follow the Pope on Twitter? People really buy that nonsense? Why doesn’t the Pope just promise to let people live forever in a magical perfect paradise if they join his church and let his priests rape their kids… oh wait, never mind.
Related articles
- One hell of a deal: Pope Francis offers reduced time in Purgatory for Catholics that follow him on Twitter (independent.co.uk)
- So, the Pope’s Twitter followers get time off purgatory. What’s the problem? | Andrew Brown (guardian.co.uk)
- The Man In The Funny Hat Isn’t Running The Show (skepticink.com)
- Catholic Priest: Disbelief in the Devil main cause of atheism (examiner.com)
- Hypocrisy: Religious Believers and The Surveillance State (skepticink.com)
- The Fear of Fiction (skepticink.com)
