• Jehovah’s Witnesses: Atheist Delivery

    My doorbell just rang a few minutes ago and to my delight it was Jehovah’s Witnesses. I bet I am the only one who is delighted to see them and yet they always seem to want to end our conversations.

    Two ladies, one older and one younger came to the door. The younger one hung back as the older one asked me about the presence of God in my life. I told her that I didn’t believe any gods existed and that the evidence for deities was not just absent, but that the evidence stands against the possibility.

    She then asked if I had always “felt that way,” so I told her that I did not. I told her that I grew up believing in God and that I was indoctrinated into that belief for a long time. Then I asked her what convinced her that there was a God. She responded and said that she grew up in the church and always believed. So I pointed out that she had been indoctrinated and that she should question that belief. I made sure to turn to the younger college-aged girl as I made that point.

    This is when they first attempted to leave. They politely said that they didn’t want to keep me, but I told them that I didn’t mind at all. Somehow we got into the Bible when I was told that the Bible was the oldest book we have. I think I laughed at that since there are tons of books older than the Bible. I pointed out that the Bible has changed so much that we don’t even have the original Bible. Bart Ehrman comes in handy at this point.

    Again they try to leave politely, but I keep on asking questions. The older “witness” then talks about how she is perfectly content in her life even if she turned out to be wrong. I was looked shocked and said, “Really? How could you be, knowing that you wasted your entire life and that you have been impeding human progress and have had a skewed sense of morality?” I know that sounds harsh, but I said it nicely.

    I talked about how when I was religious I thought I was content in my life too, but that leaving religion has made me much happier and a much better person. We had some more small talk after that and they plugged their website a few times. I plugged mine too just for fun. I actually directed the plug toward the younger “witness” because I thought she would be more likely to actually check it out. I didn’t spend as much time as I wanted pushing critical thinking and overall skepticism but I think it was still a pretty positive exchange. I told them to come back any time and they said they would, but I’m skeptical.

    I do love Jehovah’s Witnesses. It’s like ordering from an atheist takeout with free delivery. They bring their craziness right to my door. Less than 30 minutes guaranteed. I get to have fun trying out my de-conversion material guilt free too. They came to me after all.

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    Category: Jehovah's Witnesses


    Article by: Staks Rosch

    Staks Rosch is a writer for the Skeptic Ink Network & Huffington Post, and is also a freelance writer for Publishers Weekly. Currently he serves as the head of the Philadelphia Coalition of Reason and is a stay-at-home dad.