Demons, Witches, and Warlocks… Oh My!

I love it when I am having a relatively rational discussion with a Christian and then the Christian starts to go off about demons, witches, and warlocks. It is a facepalm moment that reminds me that “relatively rational” is still batshit crazy.

Look, after years of discussing religion with religious believers I can almost understand why someone might believe in a god. Hell, I used to believe in God too. But the whole invisible war against a literal Satan is just way too much Kool-Aid for me.

When the conversation turns to how witches and warlocks are out there conjuring up demons to help Satan overthrow Jesus, I just have to shake my head in disbelief. Disbelief in just how warped religion can make people. Even Scientologists have the good sense not to talk about their elaborate fiction of Xenu and galactic domination openly.

Nothing discredits a Christian’s argument faster than babbling on about Satan and his demons… and when the Christian gets into specifics like how witches and warlocks can only resurrect the dead for 30 days, while Jesus can resurrect the dead for longer, then shit just got extra fictional.

All this junk is just a brainwashing tool to get religious believers to feel like warriors in an epic struggle between good and evil. This keeps them invested and commits them to the cause. They must not only continue to follow their religious leaders, but they also must be active in being religious douchebags because the fate of Heaven is at stake.

No one wants to be the warrior who let evil slip past them on their watch. They begin to see the “forces of darkness” everywhere so now they find the forces of darkness everywhere they look. Satan and his demons are all over the place and witches and warlocks are hiding in every forest and dark alley at work trying to overthrow Jesus.

There is just one problem with this elaborate fiction. These are the same Christians who claim that God is all-powerful. So who the fuck cares what Satan and his merry warlocks are up to? Jesus can win this imaginary war whenever he chooses and he doesn’t need some holy warrior to help him. The whole thing is ridiculous.