I have had many and varied relationships with a variety of felines. I can’t recall a time when there wasn’t a cat in my home. People who know me have called me the cat whisperer. If there’s a cat in the house, even if I’ve never been there before, we will find each other.
At one point, we had nine cats. We were fostering a bunch and rescued some. A friend asked me how in the heck we even knew all their names (she didn’t like cats). I replied that it’s just like your kids. I know them, as individuals. I hear one meow and can tell who did it and what they want.
Dog lovers (who are cat haters) tend to think that all cats look alike. That’s kind of racist, I guess the correct term is “specist”. I have had huge, 22 pound cats and tiny, 5 pound cats (I still can’t think of weights in kilos). Cats that were black, white, brown, tan, silver, orange, and almost every combination thereof.
But the important part is that I know them as individuals. I know get to know their behaviors (and they, mine). A cry, a tilt of the head, a flip of the tail, and I can tell you what the cat wants or what it’s about to do. Just like any reasonably intelligent person can do with someone that they have known for a while. Maybe if more people put forth some effort to learn about others this way, we wouldn’t be in the shape we’re in.
Anyway, unless you have a particular hobby (or specialty training), you’ve probably never heard of one of the words in the title, “dither”.
In casual use, dither means to be indecisive or be in a state of agitation. In a technical sense, it’s used in various ways in signal processing. But in aquarium speak, dither has another meaning.
Dither fish are fish (usually a school) in an aquarium used to reduce the timidness of otherwise shy fish. The intention here is that the shy fish sees the school out and about and realizes that there are no predators, so it’s safe to come out of it’s hole.
When we moved to our new home, we had two cats. We had just lost “my” cat of 18 years (Nimitz).
That’s Nims. You can’t tell, but he was a bob tail. Here, he’s about 16 years old and already a shrunken old man. He was, without a doubt, the most annoying animal I have ever shared my home with. But he was also the most amazing. He was utterly fearless and totally confident in his ability to whatever he wanted to.
He once devised an elaborate plan to get the cat treats that involved him, the top of the fridge, a glass jar smashing on the ground, then chewing through the bag of treats… which he puked up about 5 minutes later on the carpet. I also had to restrain him from attacking a full grown Rottweiler.
He slept with me every night for almost 18 years. When he was a kitten, it was awesome. When he was a 22 pound monster with tuna breath who insisted on sleeping on my chest, it wasn’t so awesome. But no organism I have ever met was a stubborn as Nimitz.
So when we moved, we had two cats, Sage and Merlin.
Merlin, the black mackerel, and Sage, the little white one, with Nimitz. You can see how big Nims is here.
Now, I love Sage and Merlin, but they aren’t “my” cats. They run from me. They are the timid little fish of our feline home. Occasionally, I mean, once a week, Merlin will jump into the bed, when it’s full dark and consent to have his chin rubbed… for about two minutes. I’ve gone for days without seeing him. Considering I work from home, that’s pretty timid.
Sage is less timid, but he still runs from me. I will at least see him every day.
So, I wanted “my” cat. I wanted a lapcat. I wanted a cat like Blacker (another huge male that heeled better than any dog I’ve ever seen). Just my companion.
Of course, we have a child who is loud. And many cats don’t deal with that well. And maybe, hopefully, this cat might be a dither cat to draw out Sage and Merlin.
Saturday, we brought her home. Meet Sophia.
She is perfect. Seconds before this picture was taken, the boy ran past her a full roar. She didn’t even flinch. She comes when called, she heels. She plays hard and sleeps harder. For example:
She’s a lap cat and she loves everyone in the family.
She’s also a rescue kitty. Our local Petsmart has an adoption center, where local pet groups can bring animals that need homes. There were four cats there Saturday and I would have taken any one of them home. But one was totally indifferent to the entire family, one was fine until the boy came up to him, one was psychotically hyper. Sophie was perfect. She took a quick nap in my lap, then played with the boy for a while, then came home with us.
Four days later and she owns the house. Even the other two are coming around. I saw Merlin today… in the daylight. So maybe, just maybe, there is something to having a dither cat.
Regardless, she’s a truly amazing creature. Totally nuts, totally confident, totally love.
If you are looking for a life time companion, be patient. You’ll find the right one. And be sure to visit the websites of the local animal shelters, rescue organizations, and pet fostering groups. They do amazing, difficult work (I’d want to bring every animal home with me). And if you can, drop them a couple of bucks to help out some animals that don’t have a forever home.
