Open Letter To Christians

Dear Christians,
No disrespect, but…
How could you possibly believe in Christianity?

Forget about the woman from a rib, the walking-talking snake, the burning bush, the man trapped in a whale, Noah’s Ark, and the tower of Babel. I get that not everyone believes that. After all, that is obviously ridiculous. But what about the virgin birth, water to wine, zombies, resurrections, ancient prophecies, and eternal paradise and/or torture? Are those things any less ridiculous?

I mean, what kind of God needs this kind of elaborate scheme to “save” humanity. Do you really believe God sent his holy sperm – I mean spirit – to impregnate a virgin, wait 33 years and then allow his only “begotten” son (whatever that means) to be tortured and die for three days so that he could resurrect him and then demand through the words of flawed humans over the course of 66 poorly written books that people worship him or be tortured for all eternity? What is God’s obsession with blood all about?

Think about it for a minute. If I told you that story you would laugh your ass off and send me to a mental institute. Look, I get that our culture reinforces your belief and that you were taught this stuff all your life from before you could walk and talk, but you were also taught about Santa Claus and now we can all admit that is just a make-believe story. I mean flying reindeer, right? Only a five-year-old would buy that shit — but a virgin woman popping out the son of God? Totally legit.

I’m not talking about belief in a god in general here. I get why someone might find the concept of some vague higher power alluring despite the complete lack of evidence, but when we are talking about the specific beliefs and claims of Christianity, we have to take a moment and really think about just how ridiculous those beliefs are.

Can we all just admit that the Bible is fiction and move on with our lives?

I mean, how is it that we are entertaining a serious debate about whether there was a historical magic man/deity? We might as well be debating the historicity of Hercules or Darth Vader.

I’m not angry at you or your imaginary deity; I’m just confused and maybe even a little frustrated. Just imagine one day waking up in a world where everyone worshiped Voldemort and quoted the Harry Potter books as if they were historical and inerrant. One might point out that they are obviously fictional books written by J.K. Rowling, but believers would be quick to claim that she wrote them while under Harry Potter’s spell and that these books were absolutely true. The Ministry of Magic just made her think that she was writing fiction in order to hide the world of magic from Muggles. Whatever criticism, plot hole, argument, or point against the “Truth” of the Harry Potter books one come up with, the believers will have some sort of rationalization for them.

If you met one person who believed that, you could easily dismiss them as crazy but when millions or billions of people believe it, then what? Does it make it any less crazy? I don’t think it does.

This is the case with Christianity. It is a crazy belief system that simply does not match up with the evidence we see every day. If the God of the Bible existed, he wouldn’t need you to tell everyone about him. He could do his own damn dirty work. There would be no need for threats of eternal Hell or promises of eternal paradise. God wouldn’t need to sacrifice his own son or anyone else. If God wanted people “saved” from himself, then poof… done. There would be no need to shed holy blood or for any elaborate schemes.

There would be no hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, or diseases. And if they did exist, they would only affect those God wanted to punish. We certainly wouldn’t see believers and non-believers affected at exactly the same rate. Please face reality, your religion isn’t true, the Bible is fiction, and God is imaginary. Then we can move past all this ancient superstition and start working toward making a brighter future for everyone. Just think about it. Thanks.