Apparently all the world has been watching as the mayor of Canada’s largest city, Toronto’s very own Rob Ford, bravely and singlehandedly labours to shatter the stereotype of the Boring Canadian. Crack cocaine marijuana whore vodka drunk driving potty mouth murderous rant drug deals racist slurs public peeing drunken stupor sexist abuse knocking down old ladies. That Rob Ford. Oh yes, and poutine as well, but poutine’s A-okay.
Like the rest of Canada, I’ve been watching with fascination as each new day brings forth a new revelation, a new admission, and a new notpology from the Robster. But I was waiting for something very specific to happen, and today it came: the playing of the God card. The errant mayor made his inevitable appeal to the general public’s religious sensibilities. In an interview with CBC’s Peter Mansbridge, Ford came out with the following pious gems:
I’m not a very religious guy, but my dad did teach Bible school, and prayer’s important to me. And he who shall cast the first stone has never sinned. Everyone has sinned. And you know what? I admitted I sinned. I apologized. (11:58)
I’ve had a come-to-Jesus moment, if you want to call it that. (17:00)
Who knows if he meant his conversion to be taken literally? Stay tuned, world. Maybe it’s all in the Almighty’s plan. Ford has already shown he can mangle scripture, indulge in many vices, and claim the high moral ground from a point well below sea level; in terms of dishonesty, hypocrisy, and convenient repentance, he shows enormous promise. And he already has his own tv show. Yes, people, when the time comes that Ford is no longer allowed to be mayor of Toronto, I think he has a fine future ahead of him as a televangelist.