(Submitted by Skepticality listener Chris Benson.)
I have two similar-ish stories:
1. In the fall of 1979 my family moved from Muscatine, Iowa to Kingman, AZ. It was the week before Halloween of my senior year and I was leaving behind a graduating class of 379.
On my first or second day at my new High School, I was walking down the hall and found myself looking at an acquaintance from my old High School class! We were both surprised, to say the least.
2. In the early ’80s I was at Arizona State and a friend of mine from our dorm needed a ride to the University of Arizona for an ROTC function. I had a friend from Kingman whom I knew was at U of A, but we had not spoken for a couple of years, and I had no other information, but figured I could go try to hunt him down.
I dropped my dorm-mate off at his ROTC thing and went to the Student Union to see if I could look my other friend up in a school directory. The fellow at the service desk in the Union said he couldn’t help me because they didn’t have a directory.
I knew driving down that it was a wild goose chase, but I was really disappointed.
Then I turned around trying to think of something else to try, and I’ll be damned if he wasn’t standing there. He was on his way to dinner at the Union’s cafeteria, and we spent a lovely evening together.
The population of that school was around 30,000 at the time, so I figure the odds were something close to that.
Below are the extended notes provided by contributing editor Mark Gouch for use in Skepticality Episode 258. Mark is a wastewater treatment system operator and engineer living in Smithtown, NY (Long Island). He started to become interested in coincidences after recognizing the series of events that conspired to get him employment on Long Island many years ago. Two of Mark’s recommended books include “The Drunkard’s Walk: How Randomness Rules Our Lives” by American physicist and author Leonard Mlodinow, and “The Hidden Brain: How Our Unconscious Minds Elect Presidents, Control Markets, Wage Wars, and Save Our Lives” by Shankar Vedantam.
Take a look and leave your comments below. Also, please be sure to listen to the podcast for our own hilarious commentary.
1. This is probably impossible to estimate numerical odds. So many factors affect everything that happens. For example way back in 1979, what were the economics of Iowa and Arizona? In general there has been a movement of people in the US to the sun belt. If some specific economic or other conditions made making the move desirable, that would make the chances of meeting someone who made a similar move greater.
2. I’m glad that this story happened over 25 years ago. I did not notice at first that Chris said it was in the ’80s. I was about to criticize him for not doing a web search, or look for a friend on the face thing, or do an on-line criminal records search or something, to try to find his friend. But since it was a long time ago, he will be spared that criticism. If he should run into a similar situation in this decade, we know he will avail himself of the various internet tools to increase odds of success again.
We are sure that it must have been surprising to find his friend. Trying to estimate the odds of doing so is probably not really possible. But I think that as usual, there are some factors that make the odds much better than we might intuitively think at first. And it is worth thinking about them.
Let’s think about a few possible items. There may be a lot of odds reducers that he did not mention. For example, I suspect his friend lived in a campus dormitory and he happened, on purpose, or by chance, to go to the student union at dinner time.
I suspect that since it was a friend he was looking for, they may have gone to high school together. This means that his friend most likely lived in a dorm at the campus. If so, then it would actually have been a great plan to try to find a campus dormitory-living student by going to the student union cafeteria at dinnertime. Or breakfast time or lunch time.
Now if the population of the school was around 30,000 at the time, and half of the students lived in a dorm, then your odds of finding the person would roughly double. That would be about 1 in 15,000 chance, which is pretty long odds.
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case 1: You were bound to meet him, once he went there. Better, try to figure out the odds of NEVER meeting him during your time there and his, given which courses you were on, whether you did the same sports, etc. The other odds are those relating to two people from the same old HS going to this new HS. What are the factors? What caused you both to move, and why there, and why that year? This aspect of this case seems tougher than case two; but the chance of meeting him, once he’s there and you’re there, is close to 1.
case 2: The number of people, 30,000, is pretty much irrelevant. If the friend was at that uni, and if he went to the same place for lunch near every day, then figuring the odds of meeting him comes down to your duration in the SU that day (say 15 mins), his duration there for lunch (say 30 mins), and then some figuring out of the likelihood of him being SOME place in there that would cause you to meet – not necessarily at the particular spot you met him. Whether there were 30,000 students or just one, your friend, wouldn’t matter, as long as his daily routine was to visit the SU for lunch. If he did it only occasionally, then lengthen the odds by some factor. For example, if he ate there only on Tuesdays, then what was the chance you being there with your other friend only on a Tuesday. All messy, but little to do with other students – unless other crazy stuff came into play: say, 30,000 want to use the limited seated SU for lunch so are allotted slots every N days.
Facebook highlights some of the general issues of meeting people unexpectedly. I’ve seen a few posts among friends every now and then when one will post where they’ve been and someone else will comment that they were there too. Not unusual for the local shopping mall, but more unusual when it’s some park that both haven’t been to for many years.
My daughter likes this sort of ‘spooky’ coincidence stuff, so I’ve tried to take note of these events for some years now. The really weird ones seem to crop up every year or so. I might meet someone in some place I’ve not been to for a long time, bump into a friend, and try to figure out what drove us to that place. Often there really is some common trigger, such as the TV mentioned the place over the last few weeks, and this is the first public holiday following that. These places are often really crowded too, because a lot of people have been triggered into going.
I often wished I’d kept a better record of details of these events. But that in itself is part of the problem: we don’t keep records, and often forget the meetings. So every new event like this seems unusual.
We have a friend who had a shop, and her parents had one before her, and she was active in the local community too, and has move home a few times. No matter how far afield we go we always seem to run into someone she knows. We now bet on her NOT meeting someone she knows.
Thank you for your comments. I love coincidences, too. I do see that because people rarely keep a journal of how often they happen, they focus on the seeming novelty. Here is a link to a great article by Michael Shermer that addresses coincidence: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/patternicity-finding-meaningful-patterns/
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Wow! Thanks. I think it’s because everyone has these experiences – and they are fun!
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