Most Christians are warm, loving people. Some use their chosen holy book to spew hatred and bigotry. Others…are just insane.
Apparently, Christians Against Dinosaurs is an actual f*cking thing. While this may seem like a belief system one may temporarily form while having a bad time of exploring the effects of psychedelics, this group of brave Bible-believers is fighting against the horrific, Satanic scientists thrusting upon the world the belief that…dinosaurs existed.
For some, believing that the world is a mere 10,000 years old and that Jesus rode a T-Rex on his return to Galilee (That’s not in the Bible. Don’t bother.) isn’t good enough. Christians Against Dinosaurs aims to have the titanic lizards removed from classrooms and replaced with pure, Godly, Bibley, stuff — perhaps, like unicorns and dragons.
The group’s raving lunacy is so prevalent that it has gotten some involved banned from parenting forums, HuffPo reports. CADministry was removed from Mumnet after a tale of disowning her sister after the latter presented her nieces and nephews with dinosaur toys. This Christian, anti-dinosaur crusader warned that lessons about dinosaurs would cause children to become “bestially minded” and bite one another:
“I am getting sick and tired of dinosaurs being forced on our children. At my children’s school, several children were left in tears after one of their classmates (who had evidently been exposed to dinosaurs) became bestially-minded and ran around the classroom roaring and pretending to be a dinosaur. Then he bit three children on the face. Recently my sister foolishly gave my two youngest some dinosaur toys for Christmas. After telling her to get out of my house, I burnt the dinosaurs. My children were delighted because they know that dinosaurs are evil. I am fortunate that my family has been very supportive, and has disowned my children’s former aunt.”
One woman, posting on the group’s YouTube channel, explained that fossils are a gigantic lie perpetrated by ‘Big Paleontology’ to deceive humanity into…paying them.
“A fossil is not actually a piece of bone,” she says in the video. “It’s actually a bone that was once in the ground that has been filled with limestone, calcium, and other stone-like deposits, so at the end of the day, it’s a rock made out of rocks.”
“So, you have a rock that’s [six-inches long] and you hand it to a paleontologist, who chips away at it until you have something looking like a bone — and that is a fossil,” she continues.
After covering a table with broken pieces of…something, she tells viewers to pretend they are paleontologists (ooh, activity time!) and put the shards back together in their original form. She even offered some spackle to assist in the reconstruction.
But, she says, it’s supposed to be a brachiosaurus skull — and “If you’re a paleontologist and you want to keep your job, you turn that into a brachiosaurus skull.”