Sorry, world. It seems we Canadians let you all down a couple of weeks ago. There was one national leader in the world who was still holding back the tides of Chaos, just one man standing up bravely for Democracy, Sovereignty, Freedom, and Christian values, and we tossed him out on his ear. Yep, we dis-elected Prime Minister Stephen Harper—and without our Stalwart Steve, the way is open for the UN to bring the whole human race under a dictatorial socialist World Government, at the Paris Climate Conference in December. The rest will, one day, be history.
And why did we get rid of Steve? Apparently, it was not a reaction to his regime’s creeping denialism of the science of climate change; it was not even revulsion at his relentless assault on the infrastructure and personnel of Canadian science itself, nor the wrecking ball he took to valued Canadian institutions and social programs. No, friends, we were manipulated by dark forces, brainwashed by agents of the shadowy oligarchs behind the UN. We’re such patsies. And now the New World Order will be established under the guise of dealing with global warming, and it’s all our fault.
On the other hand, we may have dodged a bullet fired from the other direction. According to some, Harper’s regime was only established in the first place as part of a CIA plot to hijack Canada and Mexico into a fascist union with the US, and allow American corporations to have their wicked way with Canadian natural resources. With the UN pulling one way, and the CIA pulling the other, what real choice did we have?
Furthermore, Harper’s political demise must have been as much God’s will as the UN’s. The man and much of his following lean towards the fundamentalist evangelical—surely all those prayers on Stephen’s behalf would have been answered positively unless God had very definite Other Plans. In fact, there’s an interesting nexus here of climate-change denialism, neocon economics, and Christian millennialism that could go a long way towards making sense of Harper’s infernal agenda.
But we will make no excuses. After all, apologizing is one of our national pastimes. So—sorry, guys. If we’re all being crushed under one global heel of oppression by Christmas, you’ll know who to blame.
Blame Canada.
