You can find Part One of this post here. Now… the sermon:
The minister spoke on Isaiah 9:6 and proceeded to list many names for Jesus. He then launched into how the “world” is full of problems and sin. Everything is filled with darkness and the enemy is the “devil.”
At this point I was thinking he wasn’t speaking as much as he was spilling platitudes while reciting a list of these alternate list of “names” for Jesus.
Organization wasn’t a strong suit in this talk. I considered speaking with him about various outline methods but thought better of it.
As he rambled, injecting a little John 3:16 into his talk, I couldn’t help but notice the woman in front of me had failed to groom the back of her head. I struggled mightily to resist the urge to fluff it. I pulled my attention from the rats nest in front of me and refocused on the sermon.
The minister was discussing how “evil reigns” in “the world.” “The greatest tragedy is when good people do nothing and wonder why evil happens… then they blame god!” He then complained how “we” have taken god out of christmas so as not to offend “two percent of the population.”
He didn’t provide a citation. At this point, I leaned towards my husband and whispered, “That’s bullshit.” Right after I said it, I hoped nobody heard me.
Then he moved on to the recent shootings in Connecticut. He explained, “The devil visited Newtown” and “sin removed the protection of god.” He explained the Jesus is the only “way” and this is a FACT, it’s also known as “Truth.” (I couldn’t follow the reasoning.) Some of the audience must have looked confused at that statement because he clarified by saying: Fact is, you’re broke. Truth is, you’re not.
OK. That cleared it up. (?)
He continued, “God didn’t allow the Newtown tragedy, sin did.” God turns his back on sin, sin opens the door to destruction because America has disregarded the Word and its promises and removed God’s hand of protection. After all… where is the outcry over abortion? (He switched topics again, it appears.)
At this point, he had everyone look up verses. Sadly, we were the only people without Bibles. There were none in the pews either… no hymnals… nothing. Hmmmm…
“Sin opens the door to evil. The church looks like the “world.” Church folk steal, gossip, and lie.” He told the congregates to “shore up your life!”
The sermon didn’t seem to contain a unified theme (or “golden thread” as we call it in the world of copywriting), instead I found myself presented with one uncited claim after another:
- The government is taking god out of everything
- There’s a total disregard of society of the things of god
- The false church is deceiving everyone
- The Queen James Bible is evil
- A thought can’t get to the heart until the mouth plants it
- The nation will not survive without revival
- Politicians cannot save America (it’s been proven)
- There’s no fiscal cliff, there’s a sin cliff
Then things got a bit interesting as he talked about the Connecticut shootings.
- “IF someone would have reached that young man, it never would have happened. We need to proclaim Jesus name”
- “Firearms aren’t the problem, the problem is “evil”
- Teachers should bear firearms because guns don’t kill people, evil kills people
- This baloney must be stopped
He then claimed (no citations) that Starbucks used to have a sign saying “no firearms allowed on premises.” Crime allegedly increased in their stores. When they took the sign down, crime went down.(I was unable to verify this story.)
More claims devoid of citations:
- God isn’t opposed to common sense, he’s opposed to sin
- Sinful church is the same as society
- “Forgive us lord! Heal our land! Light a fire over us and take us over again
- We need a great revival, a holy ghost revival
- People are dying and going to hell outside this building. The gift we’ve been given is too valuable not to share
At this point, the musicians mobilize and the altar call begins.
The preacher launched into a blow-by-blow (literally) of Jesus’ death. Phrases like “skin ripped off, lacerations, blood dripping,” etc. peppered the description. He’s playing the guilt card to the hilt.
When he mentioned that Jesus supposedly “sweat great drops of blood,” the woman in front of me (the lady with the hair issues) whispered “No it doesn’t…” I gasped, wondering if anyone heard my “that’s bullshit” comment.
Now he made everyone pray out loud together… in fact he led everyone in the “sinner’s prayer.” I remained silent, watching the people around me. They seemed to be taking the moment very seriously, leaning forward as they repeated this preachers very long prayer… it seemed to go on forever. Then at 11:30 he announced, “Has ‘something’ happened inside you? If so, raise your head and look at me to let me know you meant the prayer and are now a true christian.”
I dropped my gaze into my lap and waited as he murmured a few, “thank-yous” and “goods.”
He said one person had met his gaze, I hoped it wasn’t my husband because he was looking around as well. Because he has some hearing issues, I hoped he hadn’t missed the cue to drop the eyes. We launched into the closing song and yet another prayer.
As we left the building, nobody greeted us, nobody acknowledged our presence, we were invisible.
Final score card:
I’ll rank our experiences on a purely subjective scale. Each category is worth 20 points, with five categories, each visit can accumulate up to 100 points. I know it’s silly to rank one church experience, but I went in with these five categories in mind and I was curious to see how the experience would sift out. If you’ll indulge me, here are my tallies:
* Facilities/ease of navigation/parking lot and such:
Sanctuary is tricky to find. Parking lot has steep entrances/exits and evidence of lots of bottoming out. I hoped we wouldn’t damage our car when leaving. I’d give it 10/20.
* Friendliness/comfort level for newbies:
Greeters were friendly, congregants were not. I tried to drum up 3 conversations without any luck. Nobody voluntarily struck up a conversation with either me or my husband. Also, there are no Bibles available to follow along. 5/20.
* Citations to support claims:
No outside sources, no citations. 0/20
* Ease of following the service:
No bulletin. No order of service. 0/20
* Urge to go back for another visit: Nope. 0/20
Final score: 15/100
