Minor rant alert. Unless you want to watch me go off on a poor “aspiring” writer, stop reading now.
I own a publishing company and am used to odd queries that head my way. But this one took the cake.
It was from an actual author, I checked and we had a short dialogue via email. Talk about an odd message. I simply had to share it in all its glory. Subject line: (Wordless) Book proposal! Here’s what it said, formatting included:
GREETINGS IN JESUS’ NAME!
Gospelman is 6″ tall and 3″ wide. Within ‘Uncle Sam’ is a black form representing man’s separation from God because of our sin. Inside of that is a white shell, symbolizing the forgiveness of sin we have through faith in Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, which is at the core of Gospelman.
Gospelman helps you share the greatest news ever told! We hope millions of children and adults alike will come to faith through the use of this tool.
Please check out our 30 second video presentation at:
www.gospelman.org
-The easiest way to share your faith with anyone on Earth! A must for every Christian!
(Evangelist Laszlo Szalay)
-I like Gospelman very much and will do my best to spread this tool everywhere in Hungary!
(Publisher Karl Geczi)
WOULD YOU LIKE TO PARTNER WITH US TO PRODUCE AND DISTRIBUTE GOSPELMAN IN THE US AND INTERNATIONALLY?
/Peter Strand, President, 21 Century Books
Rory Kaye, CEO ,IAM (International Arts & Media)
Breaking it down:
1. Talk about odd formatting. If you’re going to cut and paste your message, at least take the time to delete the extra lines.
2. CAPITAL LETTERS are not an effective way to draw attention to your writing. As I tell my students, enthusiastic punctuation doesn’t compensate for boring writing.
3. Make sure your website works well. (It doesn’t hurt to make sure your links are hot.) If you go to gospelman.org, the page is labelled “Goslep Man.” Spelling, people.
4. Now for the skeptical part of me… the content. Ugh. We’ve got a babushka doll set, not a book. We publish books, not dolls, but back to the babushka doll set: first one is normal, second is black, third is white, and then a christian cross sits in the center. This somehow conveys the salvation message.
I can see where some people could find this whole scenario interesting, but seriously… why send this to a publisher, claiming it’s a book, asking if I’d like to sell it… I’m annoyed at the bait and switch and even more annoyed at receiving a stupid proselytizing e-mail.
More bad writing:
“Gospelman is 6″ tall and 3″ wide. Within ‘Uncle Sam’ is a black form representing man’s separation from God because of our sin. Inside of that is a white shell, symbolizing the forgiveness of sin we have through faith in Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, which is at the core of Gospelman.”
Seriously? What “sin” could that be? I never understood this concept. First paragraph appeals to fear.
“Gospelman helps you share the greatest news ever told! We hope millions of children and adults alike will come to faith through the use of this tool.”
Yeah. I suppose for that to happen, you’ll sell millions of these useless doodads. There we have the inkling of greed.
Funny how even a poorly written e-mail can utilize the copywriter’s two major tools, fear and greed.
Then we have the testimonials:
-The easiest way to share your faith with anyone on Earth! A must for every Christian!
(Evangelist Laszlo Szalay)
-I like Gospelman very much and will do my best to spread this tool everywhere in Hungary!
(Publisher Karl Geczi)
I didn’t look real hard, but I didn’t find any evangelist-types named Laszlo Szalay online. Publisher Karl Greczi doesn’t seem to have an web presence either. We’ve got exclamation points galore, vague endorsements, and (“the easiest way to…!”) infomercialese.
Sigh. I guess this is one way to reap souls for the kingdom in the information age. Target the audience just enough to get the email opened (send it to a publisher with the word “book proposal in the subject line), hit ’em with the pitch (using lots of exclamation points and capital letters), and BOOM… you just might get them to buy the product and pass on the pitch.
Sad, really.
Hope you enjoyed the odd email. I’ll quit ranting now. 🙂
