Here are some of my favorite entries.
Abortion n. A deeply personal medical decision made by a woman and her legislators.
Activist n. Anyone you disagree with.
Agenda n. All political objectives you oppose.
Born Again Christian n. Anyone who has experienced a personal spiritual awakening resulting in agreement with your ideas and values. Otherwise, see “cult“.
Bureaucrat n. A Democrat working for the government. See “public servant” for Republicans working for the government.
Civil rights n. The concept of equal legal rights for all except for women, gays and poor people.
Compassionate conservatism n. Poignant concern for the very wealthy.
Cult n. Any religious organization that does not practice conservative Biblical literalism. (No Cross No Crescent: Mormonism was recently excluded.)
Elitists n. Persons who are educated.
Evolution n. A false liberal theory created that conflicts with God’s dominion over man.
Family n. A heterosexual male head of the household married to a heterosexual female homemaker for life.
God n. Senior Republican adviser.
Gravity n. A false theory not supported by the Bible. See “evolution”
Jesus n. A conservative Republican leader whom many falsely claim to have said ”turn the other cheek” and “love thy neighbor”.
Laziness n. When the poor are not working.
Leisure time n. When the wealthy are not working.
Liberal bias n. The facts do not fit our narrative.
Libertarianism n. Survival of the fittest.
Media n. An organization responsible for abortion, breakdown of the traditional family unit, earthquakes, illiteracy, sexual addictions and teenage pregnancy.
Pro-family politician n. Any divorced congressman late on child support payments who is against gay marriage. [Being divorced 3 or more times is a plus.]
Pro-lifer n. A person willing to murder physicians and/or women to protect the rights of blastomeres, embryos or fetuses.
Religion n. The preferred curriculum for schools instead of science.
Religious freedom n. The right to spread literalist biblical Christianity.
Same-sex marriage interj. Slang. An abomination to the Lord as is interfaith and interracial marriages.
Traditional values n. The classic beliefs that made America great such as lynching blacks, keeping women pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen in servitude for life.
(Attribution: Americans Against the Tea Party)
