\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Today\u2019s offering is my take on the iconic Just-So story of the building of the Tower of Babel.\u00a0 And, okay, I changed the ending a bit.\u00a0 In the Biblical original, the tower actually did get built, partly (according to Josephus) as a place of refuge in case God forgot Himself and sent down another murderous deluge.\u00a0 Which would constitute a gross underestimate of God\u2019s capacity for new and exciting ways to make the human race miserable.\u00a0 Anyway, God saw the tower as dangerous because it showed humans they could accomplish great things if they worked together towards common goals, and He cleverly divided and conquered them by making their speech mutually unintelligible.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 According to fundamentalists, this was the origin of linguistic diversity, though historical linguists beg to differ.\u00a0 In my story, the humans never get as far as building the tower, and they achieve mutual unintelligibility all on their own.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
TOWER OF BABBLE<\/p>\n
(Genesis 11:1-9)<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Having disposed of all minor items on the agenda, the Urban Development Committee of the Council of Patriarchs prepared to turn its attention to the main business of the day.\u00a0 Askael the Scribe went to the door of the tent to call in the consultants, and held the flap open for them as they trooped in with their arms full of tablets, parchments and clay models.\u00a0 Then he squatted down again amid his own pile of tablets and consulted the minutes of the previous meeting.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAt the last meeting,\u201d he intoned, \u201cit was proposed to examine at the following meeting, that is to say, this<\/em> meeting, the shortlisted designs for the Tower Scheme, as selected by the Design Assessment Subcommittee.\u00a0 Proposal carried by a vote of four to none, six abstentions.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cThank you, Askael,\u201d said Father Peleg, who at a mere two hundred and twenty years of age was the eldest non-senile Patriarch present, and was therefore chairing the proceedings.\u00a0 \u201cLet’s have a look at those designs, then.\u00a0 All in favour?\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 A chorus of mumbles, and two snores.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCarried, with two abstentions,\u201d said Father Peleg.\u00a0 \u201cWrite that down, Askael.\u00a0 And wake up Father Shem and Father Arphaxad.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 At Askael’s signal, a clay model was carried forward and deposited in front of the row of Patriarchs.\u00a0 It was square in plan, and rather more austere than any of them had expected: a plain steep-sided pyramid with no openings at all.\u00a0 The Patriarchs stared at it with some puzzlement.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cInteresting,\u201d said Father Peleg.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don’t like it much, though,\u201d said Father Reu.\u00a0 \u201cIt’s not exactly inspiring.\u00a0 Whose design is it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The scribe consulted his tablets.\u00a0 \u201cBashkol and Sons.\u00a0 Bashkol, are you here?\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Bashkol was wild-bearded and flashing of eye, and he moved forward truculently to a defensive position beside his pyramid.\u00a0 He glared at the tablet of notes in his hand.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u201cThis,\u201d he began fiercely, \u201cis the shape of the future – clean dignified lines, minimalist and stark, thoroughly postdiluvian, uncluttered by exterior details that would diminish the strong visual impact.\u00a0 On the technical side, our studies show that this design is maximally stable for structures on a monumental scale, given that structures under stress tend naturally to collapse towards this basic form.\u00a0 The – \u201c<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cJust a minute,\u201d said Father Peleg.\u00a0 \u201cI didn’t catch all that, but I know one thing – we want a structure that will stand<\/em>, not one that will collapse.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThat’s not what I said,\u201d Bashkol protested.\u00a0 \u201cI meant it’s a very stable structural form – you build this one, Patriarch, and it will last for thousands of years.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell,\u201d said Father Peleg, \u201cI’ll grant you it would last, but I ask myself – do we want<\/em> something like that cluttering up the landscape for thousands of years?\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Father Reu coughed for attention.\u00a0 \u201cI don’t think it looks tall enough.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTrue,\u201d said Father Peleg, \u201cwe’re looking to build a tower that will reach as high as the heavens, and that one looks too – too – \u201c<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cStubby,\u201d said Father Reu.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cStubby,\u201d agreed Father Peleg.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat was that,\u201d interrupted Father Arphaxad tremulously, \u201cabout the whole thing collapsing?\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHe said it would collapse like that after a few thousand years,\u201d Father Eber said helpfully.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo, that’s not what I – \u201c<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI thought it was something about a stable,\u201d said Father Salah.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh, are we building a stable?\u201d quavered Father Shem.\u00a0 \u201cThat’s nice.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Bashkol, glowering, snatched up his model and cradled it in front of him.\u00a0 \u201cI should have known,\u201d he said bitterly, \u201cthat this was too innovative for you lot.\u00a0 I’ll take my ideas elsewhere, thank you very much, where they might be better appreciated.\u201d\u00a0 He stomped out.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cInno-what?\u201d repeated Father Peleg wonderingly.\u00a0 \u201cInno-what?<\/em>\u00a0 Askael?\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The scribe glanced up from his minutes.\u00a0 \u201cNot sure, Patriarch.\u00a0 Something to do with inns, I shouldn’t wonder.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAh, yes,\u201d said Father Peleg.\u00a0 He scratched his beard.\u00a0 \u201cWhat was that rubbish about stables, then?\u00a0 Well, we don’t want an inn, either.\u00a0 Please record that, Askael.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Askael hesitated for a moment, then wrote, Design for inn\/stable complex, tendered by Bashkol and Sons, withdrawn after discussion.<\/em>\u00a0 Then he shuffled through the box that held his correspondence files.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThe other shortlisted design,\u201d he said, \u201cis by Amzezel and Brethren, Creative Consultants.\u00a0 Is Amzezel present?\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHere, my fathers!\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 A vision of sorts swept forward, clad in flashy raiment.\u00a0 He set down in front of the Patriarchs a clay model that, no doubt about it, was beautiful.\u00a0 Starting from a broad circular base, it rose as tier upon tier of frothing arches, light and lacy, spiralling upwards and culminating in a gallery like an open flower.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNice,\u201d said Father Peleg.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Amzezel included the entire Urban Development Committee in a graceful wave of his arm, ending with a gesture like the hand of God coming down from the clouds, to rest with approval upon his confection of arches.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHere, Patriarchs,\u201d he said grandly, \u201cis a tower worthy of touching the heavens.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The Patriarchs nodded their long white beards with open appreciation.\u00a0 \u201cGo on,\u201d said Father Peleg.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Amzezel spread his hands.\u00a0 \u201cBut doesn’t it speak for itself, my fathers?\u00a0 Doesn’t it sing<\/em>?\u00a0 Isn’t it a harmony, a duet, a melodious dialogue between Earth and Heaven, mediated by the children of clay and fire from which you will build it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 There was a moment of silence.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI thought we were going to use bricks,\u201d whispered Father Eber to Father Peleg.\u00a0 Amzezel heard that.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYes, my fathers, bricks, that is of course what I was referring to, but the bricks are symbolic<\/em> of ourselves, for what are we but the children of clay and fire?\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cEh?\u201d said Father Reu.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnd note also the symbolism of the dominant motif, Patriarchs, the rich substratum of metaphor underlying the simple circle – the great wheel of the sky, the majestic sweep of the horizon, the medallion cycle of seasons, the apple, the disc of the moon, the navel – \u201c<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh, come on,\u201d said Father Reu, \u201cI don’t see how apples and belly buttons come into this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAs symbols<\/em>, Patriarch.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh, right, symbols.\u00a0 I don’t know what he’s on about,\u201d Father Reu grumbled.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Smiling, Amzezel opened his mouth to elucidate, but Father Peleg interrupted.\u00a0 \u201cOne moment, my son. I think Almor from the Works Department has something to say.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Almor the Elamite had been waving his hand frantically for attention for some time.\u00a0 Now he strode to the front of the tent and frowned down at Amzezel’s beautiful clay model.\u00a0 \u201cWhat about all them arches?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYes,\u201d said Amzezel dreamily, \u201cthe arches.\u00a0 We’re especially excited about the arches.\u00a0 Ten thousand open mouths extolling the greatness of Creation, derived from the repertoire of the primitive vernacular, the cave mouth, the primeval wellspring, the wide-swelling womb…\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLeaving all that aside,\u201d said Almor, \u201cI’d like to know if you plan to corbel all them arches, or what?\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cEh?\u201d said Amzezel.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you saying, Almor?\u201d said Father Peleg, leaning forward.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cPatriarch, I’m saying we haven’t got the technology to build all them arches and still stay within budget.\u00a0 Corbelling’s cheapest, but it won’t give you that nice smooth parabolic shape.\u00a0 Reinforced lintels might do the job, but we’d have to get ’em specially prefabricated, and that’ll cost you a lot of extra shekels right there.\u00a0 Stone’s no good, too dense and heavy, you’re talking about a hell of a dead load by halfway up the tower even if you use brick for the main structure, and anyway masons don’t come cheap these days.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIf I understand you correctly,\u201d said Father Peleg after a pause, \u201cyou’re saying that this design would cost more than we hope to spend.\u00a0 Is that what you’re saying?\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cMore or less, Patriarch – though I can see other headaches as well, with the batter ratio and the subsoil settlement parameters, and the damping dynamics will be a nightmare, especially…\u201d\u00a0 Almor stopped short, and his eyes grew distant.\u00a0 He whipped a large potsherd out of a fold of his robe and spent a few moments scribbling calculations on it with a stick of charcoal taken from behind his ear.\u00a0 Then he shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cAs I thought,\u201d he said, \u201cthat cantilevered bit at the top is going to be a bugger.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTroglodyte,\u201d sniffed Amzezel.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cShall we return,\u201d said Father Peleg dazedly, \u201cto the question of finance?\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYes,\u201d said Father Reu, \u201cgood idea, I understood that part.\u00a0 Where’s Elaz?\u201d\u00a0 Father Reu was also looking dazed.\u00a0 He leaned over again, this time to waken Father Shem and Father Eber.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Elaz, the chief accountant attached to the Urban Development Committee, moved forward with a grim face.\u00a0 \u201cWith all respect, Patriarchs, I would require an itemized estimate from my colleague in the Works Department before I could even begin to calculate the probable deficit in capital funds.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 All eyes turned to Almor the Elamite, who shrugged and said, \u201cI need to go over Amzezel’s specs before I can make an estimate.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Amzezel looked offended.\u00a0 \u201cI am an artist,\u201d he said loftily, \u201cSpecks mean nothing to me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHa.\u00a0 You don’t even know what they are,\u201d said Almor.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Amzezel elevated his nose and turned away, sweeping his cloak up over his shoulder.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 This silence was long, tense and baffled.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAs I understand it,\u201d ventured Father Jobab, the youngest of the Patriarchs, \u201cwe need to raise more shekels if we want to use Amzezel’s design, but we don’t know how many.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGood, Jobab, good, now we’re getting somewhere,\u201d said Father Peleg.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 A voice came from the back of the tent.\u00a0 \u201cPatriarchs, if I may just say a few words?\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Father Peleg inclined his ear towards Askael the Scribe, who whispered, \u201cThat’s Shophar the Reuite, in charge of Public Relations.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Shophar came forward confidently at Father Peleg’s nod.\u00a0 \u201cYou have a problem here, gentlemen, and I believe I’m the man to help you.\u00a0 Let’s just throw this one on the altar and see if it burns.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Askael hesitated and wrote, Shophar the Reuite proposes burnt offering.<\/em>\u00a0 He looked up again without much hope.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Shophar strode back and forth, waving his hands.\u00a0 \u201cHear me out, gentlemen.\u00a0 The problem is cash flow – but that’s no problem really, all we have to do is make the Tower Scheme pay for itself.\u00a0 How, you ask me?\u00a0 Well, first off, we privatize<\/em> the whole project, float the stock on the open market – \u201c<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou mean, like a cattle barge?\u201d asked Father Reu.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo, not exactly like a cattle barge,\u201d said Shophar, thrown off balance.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The scribe sighed, his stylus poised.\u00a0 Those Patriarchs who were awake exchanged confused glances, but by then Shophar had recovered.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAnyway, then we rent out space in the Tower’s lowermost two levels to accommodate a covered market – \u201c<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou said an open market,\u201d protested Father Peleg.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c – and we turn the gallery at the top into a restaurant,\u201d finished Shophar in triumph.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Everybody seemed to understand that, judging by the shocked silence.\u00a0 Then a chorus of outrage broke out.\u00a0 Askael caught what words he could among the babble of angry voices.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c…live load factors are already<\/em> impossible…\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c…defiling the purity of the symbolism…\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c…itemized estimate of the outlet’s running costs…\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c…compression stress fractures…\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c…limited demand…\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c…aesthetic integrity…\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201c…franchise…\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The Patriarchs sat troubled at the head of the tent, as more and more of the consultants got drawn into the debate, and the debate became louder and hotter, escalating by degrees into something that looked remarkably like a riot.\u00a0 Several of the older Patriarchs half-woke, or at least shifted in their sleep.\u00a0 Askael, in despair, threw down his stylus and covered his ears.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 After a while, Father Peleg beckoned to Askael and all those Patriarchs who were conscious.\u00a0 They brought their heads closer to his.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cRemind me, Reu.\u00a0 Why did we want to build this tower in the first place?\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTo touch the heavens,\u201d replied Father Reu.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhy did we want to do that?\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI can’t remember.\u00a0 It seemed like a good idea at the time.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell,\u201d said Father Peleg, as he watched some fine earnest punches being thrown near the back of the tent, \u201cI have grave doubts about it now.\u00a0 And I can’t understand what these idiots are saying.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThey can’t understand each other, either,\u201d said Father Reu. \u201cYou’d think they were speaking different languages.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 They shook their heads as the fisticuffs in the rear corner spread through the roiling mob of consultants.\u00a0 The first rumbles of a thunderstorm broke out overhead and reverberated through the thick woollen walls of the tent.\u00a0 The disputants only raised their voices higher.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell, this is just silly,\u201d said Father Peleg at last.\u00a0 \u201cI’m ready to cancel the whole damn Tower Scheme.\u00a0 What do you say?\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Several voices said \u201caye.\u201d\u00a0 Father Peleg glanced around the rest of the committee, counting heads.\u00a0 \u201cCarried by six votes to none, with four abstentions.\u00a0 Write that down, Askael.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It was futile to try restoring order, or even to adjourn the meeting formally.\u00a0 Askael’s voice was not strong enough.\u00a0 Above them, the thunder rumbled and rolled.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cSounds to me,\u201d said Father Peleg to Father Reu, \u201cas if God’s getting a good belly laugh out of this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWe might as well go home,\u201d said Father Reu.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Grimly, dodging the tablets and torn parchments and bits of broken clay model that were now being hurled about the tent, the younger Patriarchs roused their sleeping colleagues and led them out, taking special care with Father Shem, who for some reason got very excited when it rained.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Today\u2019s offering is my take on the iconic Just-So story of the building of the Tower of Babel.\u00a0 And,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,5,7,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-atheism","category-bible","category-fic","category-light-relief"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/lateraltruth\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/lateraltruth\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/lateraltruth\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/lateraltruth\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/lateraltruth\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/lateraltruth\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/lateraltruth\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/lateraltruth\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/lateraltruth\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}