Because I’m evidently unable to tell when I’m not dressed correctly, I can now visit a website that’ll instruct me in all things modest.
“Is This Modest” is a website that claims to promote an open and practical dialog about modesty, but it’s actually a male-gazey compendium of creepshots of high schoolers and misogynist rants about too-tight t-shirts. Is it possible to have a sane discussion about modesty? Not if modesty means, as it does on this site, that it’s a woman’s responsibility to prevent men from thinking impure thoughts.
Huh? Now I’m a little confused.
“There is no one definition for modesty that everyone agrees on, so here at this site we offer a place to discuss the topic and attempt to help young men and women look beyond the clothing to the heart attitude.” That’s how the founders of “Is This Modest” explain their philosophy. Sounds rational(ish), right?
Wrong. The site’s contributors all wholeheartedly support the exact same definition of modesty: it’s 100% the women’s responsibility to make sure she’s not tempting the men around her into sin by simply existing. The “clothing retailers” section features modest prom dresses, bridal gowns, skirts, and swimwear, and the site gives away a free skirt once a month. Where are the modest options for men? Nonexistent, because only ladies are supposed to militantly monitor the way they dress. Under the quote section, you’ll find sayings such as, “Modesty in a woman is a virtue most deserving, since we do all we can to cure her of it.” Oooh, deep! What about modesty in a man? They’re just born inherently modest, we guess.
Feeling enraged yet? (How immodestly unbecoming!) Settle down, because we haven’t even gotten to the creepiest parts of “Is this Modest” yet: the articles and “Quick Review” section, which is essentially r/creepshots for evangelicals.
Turns out the subject isn’t as cut and dry as it could be. Quel suprise.
Meet MInTheGap, who describes himself as a 36-year-old software developer married to “the most beautiful woman in the world (VirtuousBlonde) for 10 years” with five children. Sounds like a busy guy! Not too busy, apparently, because he’s been blogging about modesty and “reviewing” photos of high schoolers for years. This guy spends his time scouring Flickr for “people in real situations,” i.e. minors whose parents probably didn’t realize what they were getting into by posting their yearbook portraits on Flickr, and shaming them in explicit detail for having boobs.
Now it’s just creepy. I’m with Jezebel on this.
You can’t purport to host an open, nonjudgmental forum while repeatedly enforcing the idea that women, and women only, are responsible for whether or not men lust after them. That’s a pervasive concept that perpetuates rape culture; it doesn’t help young women feel good about themselves or teach people to respect one another or help anyone in any way. Other than, of course, the sexually repressed dicks who get off on telling girls and women how to behave.
Update: The website “Is This Modest” appears to be temporarily unavailable. Wonder when it’ll be back up.
