{"id":1249,"date":"2014-10-05T04:57:22","date_gmt":"2014-10-05T04:57:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/gps\/?p=1249"},"modified":"2014-10-05T04:57:22","modified_gmt":"2014-10-05T04:57:22","slug":"things-atheists-are-outraged-by-after-carrie-underwoods-latest-song","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/gps\/2014\/10\/05\/things-atheists-are-outraged-by-after-carrie-underwoods-latest-song\/","title":{"rendered":"Things Atheists are Outraged By (after Carrie Underwood’s Latest Song)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Carrie_Underwood_-_LP_Field_-_CMA_Fest_2013_-_Nashville,_Tn_237\"<\/a>Apparently, atheists are absolutely outraged by Carrie Underwood’s latest song. You may ask how I know this, and there’s a simple answer to that question:<\/p>\n

I was told it by a no less an authoritative source on atheist outrage than the Conservative Tribune<\/a>, <\/em>as well as the always accurate Tell Me Now<\/a>\u00a0<\/em>and MR Conservative<\/em><\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

(In a delicious bit of irony, I think MR Conservative is supposed to be “Mister Conservative” but could easily be mistaken for another type of MR<\/a> by the casual reader. But I digress…)<\/p>\n

Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s examine some of the other things that atheists are outraged by (after, of course, that song).<\/p>\n

——-<\/p>\n

People being wrong on the internet<\/strong><\/p>\n

This may shock some of my more delicate readers, but it’s true: People, on the internet, are often wrong<\/a>. From thinking that Noah’s Ark<\/a> was a real thing, or that the Shroud of Turin wasn’t a medieval creation<\/a>, or that the Old and New Testaments are contradiction free<\/a>, people believe all sorts of demonstrably wrong things. And boy, does it piss us off!<\/p>\n

Getting confused with Satanists<\/strong><\/p>\n

Look, I know atheists are about as trusted as rapists<\/a> and all, but for real? The whole thing about being an atheist is that you don’t believe in a god or gods. And if you don’t believe in a god, then you certainly aren’t going to believe in a devil. Maybe part of the confusion stems from the fact that most “Satanists” are actually atheists<\/a>.\u00a0Or maybe it’s from the fact that most people have a hard time wrapping their heads around the idea of a person just not believing in any supernatural forces. Either way, it’s not true, just like so many other myths about atheists<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Wearing pants<\/strong><\/p>\n

Come on, no one likes pants. It doesn’t matter what you believe or disbelieve in, no one puts on pants and thinks “Boy howdy, sure am glad I get to wear these today!”<\/p>\n

People thinking we have no morals<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don’t believe in a god? Then you must, obviously, be a terrible person. You’d probably go about raping and murdering and eating babies and whatnot. That’s why you see so many atheists in prison, right? And by “so many” I of course mean “0.07%” of the federal prison population<\/a>\u00a0(for comparison, Mormons make up 0.28% and Protestants make up 26.7%). Where do we get our morals? My friend Dr. Darrel Ray tells us where<\/a>, in language so simple that even a fan of modern-day country music could understand.<\/p>\n

From the constant development of our culture. From the evolution of laws and guidelines that help us create a peaceful and prosperous society. We are who create our morality and we pass it down to our children and grandchildren.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

——-<\/p>\n

I could, of course, go on about all the misinformation<\/a> people have about atheists, or how an atheist cannot hold public office<\/a> in certain states in the US, or the myriad of ways atheists have been discriminated<\/a> against through the world and across time, but I think what is most important to note is that ATHEISTS DON’T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT A CARRIE UNDERWOOD SONG.<\/p>\n

Seriously, we don’t<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Country superstar Carrie Underwood recorded a song. It outraged atheists. So did these other things.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":1250,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,86,402],"tags":[616,221,615,614,618,620,617,619],"class_list":["post-1249","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","category-religion","category-secularism-2","tag-anger","tag-atheist","tag-atheists","tag-carrie-underwood","tag-immoral","tag-myths","tag-outrage","tag-song"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/gps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1249","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/gps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/gps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/gps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/gps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1249"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/gps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1249\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/gps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1250"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/gps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1249"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/gps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1249"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/skepticink.com\/gps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1249"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}