Name a state that borders Oklahoma, I’ve probably been to a convention there. (Colorado doesn’t really count, right?) Kansas hosts Skeptics of Oz, Missouri has Skepticon, Arkansas has Reason in the Rock. Right here in Oklahoma we have something called FreeOK. Both the skeptical and atheist movements here in the U.S. are fairly convention-centric, it seems that we thinky people love to gather in large numbers to listen to lectures and socialize. And drink. And then socialize and drink some more. Occasionally, from what I’ve heard, all this drinking and socializing leads to a lucky few of us actually having sex, which might explain why people keep disappearing from room parties in matched pairs.
Drunken hookups? There is an app for that!
You may have already heard about the Good2Go app (iTunes, Google Play) from feminist activist Amanda Marcotte or Amanda Hess, both of whom have sternly warned against potential misuse. I decided (while mildly intoxicated, of course) to try it out for myself.
Step one, install the app and validate it using your mobile phone number.
Step two, find a willing partner. I recruited my wife, because after a couple of decades together we’ve managed to establish a certain rapport. Plus, she’s hot.
Step three, initiate the encounter. Wining, dining, maybe some nuzzling, then you whip out your app. It will assume that you (as the owner of a phone with this app installed) are already good to go, or else you would not have opened the app in the first place. Hand the phone to your prospective partner and say “Are we good to go? And by ‘go’ I mean the sex.” Then they will use their best judgement to gauge how drunk they are at that moment, like this:
Ok, very mildly intoxicated, but not quite sober. The app takes note of your prospective partner’s condition and then they validate the encounter using their own Good2Go credentials, that is, mobile phone number and password. After doing so, they hand your phone back to you with a sly, sort of come hither no really I mean it put the damn phone down sort of look.
Woo-hoo! Pants-off time, but remember . . .
All of the foregoing assumes that your partner ticks the right box. If you guys really are at a convention afterparty, though, there is a significant chance that you’ve already gone over the edge into “Pretty Wasted” territory. The app has legally helpful advice if this turns out to be the case, automatically reverting your “I’m Good2Go” selection back to “No, Thanks” like so:
At this point, your would-be partner will accidentally drop your phone into your beer, thereby signaling the end of this prospective encounter. Those of you with waterproof cases, please press “Ok” and then help them find a place to safely sleep it off.
I do have a few minor issues with the app. Firstly, it lacks symmetry. Both partners should be required to go through the process of establishing their mental state. Secondly, there isn’t a selection screen or even a notes field to indicate what exactly you are Good2Go4 right at that moment. PIV? Oral? Anal? Water polo? Finally, it doesn’t connect to Twitter or Facebook so you cannot instantly share what you are doing with the world. We’ve come to expect social sharing from our mobile apps these days, instead of waiting on gossip rumors to get the word out.
As a long-time practicing monogamist, I’m quite probably not the target demo for this app, so I’d love to hear from single folks about whether this app will work for you when you hit the skeptic conference afterparty scene. Feel free to leave a thoughtful comment below.
