Only a few hours left to prepare for Halloween costume parties, and I’ve just a few more ideas to share, this time from the field of Con Law.
Disestablishment clause – Bring along a couple of friends to the party who are quite comfortable touching each other. Dress one of them up as an elaborate church building, the other as a state capitol building, and have them try to molest one another whenever you’re not paying attention. Your job is to dress as Thomas Jefferson or James Madison and try to keep them apart using nothing but a wall of foam bricks.
Right to privacy – Staple the U.S. Bill of Rights to your back. Using a crazy contrapification of umbrellas and flashlights mounted to your headgear, create the illusion of ‘penumbras’ and ‘emanations’ about your person. Alternate version: Chuck the headpiece, and just run a highlighter over the Ninth Amendment. Either way, perambulate around the party offering contraceptive services to anyone who can afford them.
Selective incorporation – Follow around the guy with the Bill of Rights on his back and tell everyone which ones should apply in their home state.
Habeas Corpus – Every time you come across a partygoer dressed as a corpse or the walking dead, pick them up and shout “I have the body!” Bonus points if you do this in Latin. Then adjudicate whether they have been unjustly detained.
However you dress up and whatever bizarre parties you may attend, please have a safe and happy Halloween! As for me, I’m off on my annual pilgrimage to the Purple Church. 😉
