Just a few more days left until Halloween, and just a few conceptual costume ideas from the field of scientific scepticism.
Quantum quackery – Dress like a physician, talk like a physicist. Make up shit about how you can help collapse wavefunctions of matter and energy in favor of those who send positive thoughts into the universe and positive balances into your bank account.
Sokal hoax – Seek out the humanities majors at the party and flatter them with spurious pseudoscientific nonsense which plays into their preconceptions, whatever they might be. Once you’ve thoroughly drawn several people in, announce to the entire party that you’ve been having them on.
Texas sharpshooter fallacy – Fire paintballs completely at random throughout the party. Whenever you accidentally create a cluster of shots in close proximity to one another, draw a circle around them and declare yourself a crack shot.
Uromancy – Drink loads of beer and piss in the flower pots. Predict the future based on the colour, flow, and taste of your urine. No, I’m not making this up.
Vitalism – Feel the mysterious life force (qi, prana, lüng, élan vital, or what-have-you) flowing through all living things. Go around trying to feel it flowing through the other party-goers as well, but don’t actually touch them, since that would be creepy.
Woo-woo – When you overhear anyone at the party relying on fuzzy emotionalism and mysticism instead of inductive reason and science, shout out “Wooooooooo!” like Bender being rolled offstage, or maybe just like this. I’m sure someone will catch on to what you are doing eventually.
YEC (Young Earth Creationist) – Act like a condescending prick to everyone who displays even a rudimentary understanding of scientific ideas. Shout them down with your superior understanding of ancient texts written by prescientific goatherds.
Zombie (philosophical) – Walk, talk, and act just like a human being, but without any subjective consciousness of the situation. This one should come naturally to fans of Glenn Beck. Remember, in the event of a Philosophical Zombie Apocalypse, the last solipsist standing wins all.
